You know when something’s on your mind it’s hard to think of much else? Well it’s like that for me with blogging. I can’t help but write what I’m thinking about. And this something that is on my mind I can’t put talk/write about just yet. So I’ve avoided wordpress for nearly a week, but this evening I just needed to… Well, write.
No I’m not pregnant. No I’m not going to be on X Factor. No I’ve not been called to Jury Duty. It’s not as glamorous/exciting/scary than any of those things (though I’m only presuming that being on X Factor is glamorous, exciting and scary as I never have nor ever will attempt to rub shoulders with Simon Cowell on ITV). Its a family decision we’re in the middle of making and for us, it’s a pretty big deal. The only thing is I’m useless at decision making.
I’m a born over-analyser. I can find pros and cons for any scenario and research various options for something until none of them make sense anymore. Earlier this year I could have written a dissertation on ‘the benefits and drawbacks of different holiday destinations to visit in the month of April’. But could I make a decision on it? Could I nelly. I drove Mr C to despair and he likely wondered what on earth he was getting himself into, marrying this deranged woman who kept insisting that ‘there might be something even better in the next lot of online searches’.
So decisions don’t come easy to me. The old chestnut ‘what if’ plagues me, and this family decision has been weighed up, put down, picked up again and has taken us around in circles for around three weeks now. Thankfully we set some non-negotiables this weekend and batted the proverbial ball back over the net. So in a way the decision is for now out of our hands, which if truth be known, has been a relief.
Nothing in this life is guaranteed. Decisions, big or small hold an element of risk, and the fear of what might go wrong can often steer the direction we take ourselves in. Maybe it’s the risk averse ‘fraidy cat in me that runs from change and puts the brakes on decisions that will significantly shape the life of my little family.
I’m finding in life though that being frightened of decisions can run even higher and more dangerous risks; leaving you in that restless place of no-man’s-land for longer than you should be. Or worse – you live your life not taking any chances. Looking back on all the could-have-beens, those ‘what ifs’ become a lot more haunting.
Life here on planet Earth is short and sometimes fear (and over thinking!) gets in the way of us grabbing opportunities with both hands. Sometimes chances are there to be taken and although it might be scary, change can end up being a wonderful thing. I’m speaking to myself more than anyone else here!
So hopefully I’ll soon have some fun changes going on around here and I’ll no doubt be blathering on about them on this little spot of cyberspace. If it doesn’t work out then I’m trusting it’s not meant to be. Nothing gained – nothing lost, and I’m ok with that.
What opportunities could you grab hold of this week?
Mrs C x